1. The Event
Start by naming the situation you’re coping ahead for and why it feels stressful or triggering.
What about this feels stressful?
Your future self needs clarity, not perfection. Messy is welcome.
2. The Problem(s)
Write up to four specific “what ifs” or stress points for this event. Don’t skimp on details — we want this plan to work.
Potential Problem 1
Potential Problem 2
Potential Problem 3
Potential Problem 4
3. What I Don’t Want To Do
List the behaviors you really don’t want to slide into during this event. These are your “red flag” or “crisis urges” behaviors.
These are the things I do NOT want to do during this event:
Reminder: My behavior is the only thing I can control.
4. The Plan – Pick Your Skills
For each possible problem, choose DBT skills you’ll use. Think about skills for lower distress and higher distress.
Optional – turn this on only if substance use is part of what you are working on today.
Skills Library: Quick Reference
Tap or click any skill name to open a handout or explainer in a new tab. Use these as a menu while you build your plan.
Mindfulness
Staying present
Distress Tolerance
For high distress (SUDS ≥ ~6.5)
Emotion Regulation
For lower/moderate distress (SUDS ≤ ~6.5)
Substance Use Skills
For substance urges or relapse risks
Interpersonal Effectiveness
People & boundaries
Use the lists as a menu. For each problem, choose the skills you’ll actually do.
Problem 1
You can fill Problem 1 on Step 2 if you haven’t yet.
Mindfulness skills (can be used at any SUDS level) Wise Mind Observe Describe Participate Non-Judgmental Stance One-Mindful Effective Loving Kindness Being vs Doing Mind Emotion Regulation (SUDS 0–6.5) Mindful of Emotion Check the Facts Opposite Action Problem Solving Accumulate Positives (short term) Accumulate Positives (long term) Allow Emotions
Distress Tolerance (SUDS 6.5–10)
STOP Pros & Cons ACCEPTS Self-Soothe IMPROVE the Moment Radical Acceptance Willingness Temperature Change Intense Exercise Paired Muscle Relaxation Paced Breathing Mindfulness of Thoughts Body Scan Ways to Practice Radical Acceptance Turning the Mind Half-Smile and Willing Hands Practicing Half-Smile with Willing Hands Substance Use skills (if relevant) Dialectical Abstinence Planning for Dialectical Abstinence Clear Mind Clean Mind vs Addict Mind Community Reinforcement Burning Bridges Alternate Rebellion
Interpersonal Effectiveness (when asking for something or saying no) Prioritize Goals (Clarifying Goals) DEAR MAN (Objective Effectiveness) Applying DEAR MAN in Difficult Situations GIVE (Relationship Effectiveness) Expanding the V in GIVE Modulate Intensity (How Intensely to Ask or Say No) FAST (Self-Respect Effectiveness) Finding And Getting People To Like You Mindfulness Of Others Dialectics How To Think And Act Dialectically Examples Of Opposite Sides That Can Both Be True Important Opposites To Balance Validation How To Guide To Validation Recovering From Invalidation
Problem 2
Optional – only if you listed a second problem.
Mindfulness skills (can be used at any SUDS level) Wise Mind Observe Describe Participate Non-Judgmental Stance One-Mindful Effective Loving Kindness Being vs Doing Mind Emotion Regulation (SUDS 0–6.5) Mindful of Emotion Check the Facts Opposite Action Problem Solving Accumulate Positives (short term) Accumulate Positives (long term) Allow Emotions
Distress Tolerance (SUDS 6.5–10)
STOP Pros & Cons ACCEPTS Self-Soothe IMPROVE the Moment Radical Acceptance Willingness Temperature Change Intense Exercise Paired Muscle Relaxation Paced Breathing Mindfulness of Thoughts Body Scan Ways to Practice Radical Acceptance Turning the Mind Half-Smile and Willing Hands Practicing Half-Smile with Willing Hands Substance Use skills (if relevant) Dialectical Abstinence Planning for Dialectical Abstinence Clear Mind Clean Mind vs Addict Mind Community Reinforcement Burning Bridges Alternate Rebellion
Interpersonal Effectiveness Prioritize Goals (Clarifying Goals) DEAR MAN (Objective Effectiveness) Applying DEAR MAN in Difficult Situations GIVE (Relationship Effectiveness) Expanding the V in GIVE Modulate Intensity (How Intensely to Ask or Say No) FAST (Self-Respect Effectiveness) Finding And Getting People To Like You Mindfulness Of Others Dialectics How To Think And Act Dialectically Examples Of Opposite Sides That Can Both Be True Important Opposites To Balance Validation How To Guide To Validation Recovering From Invalidation
Problem 3
Optional – only if you listed a third problem.
Mindfulness skills (can be used at any SUDS level) Wise Mind Observe Describe Participate Non-Judgmental Stance One-Mindful Effective Loving Kindness Being vs Doing Mind Emotion Regulation (SUDS 0–6.5) Mindful of Emotion Check the Facts Opposite Action Problem Solving Accumulate Positives (short term) Accumulate Positives (long term) Allow Emotions
Distress Tolerance (SUDS 6.5–10)
STOP Pros & Cons ACCEPTS Self-Soothe IMPROVE the Moment Radical Acceptance Willingness Temperature Change Intense Exercise Paired Muscle Relaxation Paced Breathing Mindfulness of Thoughts Body Scan Ways to Practice Radical Acceptance Turning the Mind Half-Smile and Willing Hands Practicing Half-Smile with Willing Hands Substance Use skills (if relevant) Dialectical Abstinence Planning for Dialectical Abstinence Clear Mind Clean Mind vs Addict Mind Community Reinforcement Burning Bridges Alternate Rebellion
Interpersonal Effectiveness Prioritize Goals (Clarifying Goals) DEAR MAN (Objective Effectiveness) Applying DEAR MAN in Difficult Situations GIVE (Relationship Effectiveness) Expanding the V in GIVE Modulate Intensity (How Intensely to Ask or Say No) FAST (Self-Respect Effectiveness) Finding And Getting People To Like You Mindfulness Of Others Dialectics How To Think And Act Dialectically Examples Of Opposite Sides That Can Both Be True Important Opposites To Balance Validation How To Guide To Validation Recovering From Invalidation
Problem 4
Optional – only if you listed a fourth problem.
Mindfulness skills (can be used at any SUDS level) Wise Mind Observe Describe Participate Non-Judgmental Stance One-Mindful Effective Loving Kindness Being vs Doing Mind
Distress Tolerance (SUDS 6.5–10)
STOP Pros & Cons ACCEPTS Self-Soothe IMPROVE the Moment Radical Acceptance Willingness Temperature Change Intense Exercise Paired Muscle Relaxation Paced Breathing Mindfulness of Thoughts Substance Use skills (if relevant) Dialectical Abstinence Planning for Dialectical Abstinence Clear Mind Clean Mind vs Addict Mind Community Reinforcement Burning Bridges Alternate Rebellion
Emotion Regulation (SUDS 0–6.5) Mindful of Emotion Check the Facts Opposite Action Problem Solving Accumulate Positives (short term) Accumulate Positives (long term) Allow Emotions
Interpersonal Effectiveness Prioritize Goals (Clarifying Goals) DEAR MAN (Objective Effectiveness) Applying DEAR MAN in Difficult Situations GIVE (Relationship Effectiveness) Expanding the V in GIVE Modulate Intensity (How Intensely to Ask or Say No) FAST (Self-Respect Effectiveness) Finding And Getting People To Like You Mindfulness Of Others Dialectics How To Think And Act Dialectically Examples Of Opposite Sides That Can Both Be True Important Opposites To Balance Validation How To Guide To Validation Recovering From Invalidation
Focus on what you’ll actually do first if this problem shows up, not every possible skill.
5. The Whole Plan at a Glance
This is your screenshot-able or printable summary. It pulls together your problems and chosen skills.
Print plan Print plan + handouts
6. The Practice!
Coping ahead isn’t just thinking about the plan — it’s rehearsing it. Use this checklist as you imagine the event.
Light mode Clear autosave
